Tuesday, October 22, 2013

"The Green Bean Girl"

It's simple.
That's what I eat.
I don't want to be misleading....I eat over-cooked green beans with coconut oil and sea salt.  At least four times a day.
Once in a while, I will have some meat for dinner...a small portion. 
My health has depleted in an alarming rate and this is all I can tolerate.
"Why?  What actually happens to you?"  I can hear the accusatory tone.
It is difficult to put into words the reaction one can have to food, when it isn't an obvious reaction.  If you need to carry an EpiPen, you're good to go in the eyes of the world.  If you need a benadryl, they may even offer one to you.  But when you start to talk about food affecting how you "feel" on the "inside"....other than a feeling of full....people look at you like you are crazy and easily brush you off as another "nut-job". 
I can't be too critical...I was the same way.
I won't bore you with a complete history of all the lazy people I've known in my life.  Suffice it to say, there have been A LOT! 
I never understood someone not doing their job, or something that really mattered, because they "didn't feel good".  Seemed to me like an easy way to get out of stuff, and I was determined that was never going to be me.

For me, the worst part of a food reaction, is not being able to think.  I am in a fog where the outside world seems to be crushing me.  I want to be left alone.  I get irritated very easily.  My body becomes inflamed, my joints swell and my insides feel like my organs are in a knot.  My vision is blurry and I struggle with reading.  I have mood swings and do not feel like myself.

I will continue to add some history as to how I got here in the essays to come.

Today, I want to close with this thought:

Not eating certain food is hard.  Only eating one food makes me feel selfish and guilty because of my disdain.  How many children in the world would feel happy to just have something to eat everyday?  ANYthing to eat is better than NOthing.  So I have to step back from my pity-party, because in truth, life  could be much much worse.

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