Mortality.
We may not remember at what exact point
in our lives we realized it, but I bet you have all thought about it.
Death.
What will happen when I die? Where
will I go? Will I cease to exist?
Many have religious beliefs that help
with these questions, but whether you do or not doesn't really
matter, because despite the answers, we still have these questions:
Will it hurt? When will it happen?
Will it catch me off guard?
These questions can be more plaguing,
and most will try to live their lives cautiously to avoid an untimely
death. But it's mostly out of our control. Most of us don't get to
decide the logistics.
I remember the moment when I really
began to fear death.
It was shortly after my first child was
born.
Like being slapped in the face, I was
hit with the thought of what would happen to my child if I were not
around to take care of him. Panic instantly set in as I went over
lists of names in my head of family and friends who could possibly
take on this responsibility.
More questions.
Are they already good parents?
Do they have the ability to care for a
child?
Do they have the monetary means?
Would they be willing to take on the
responsibility?
If you've had this experience, I'd many
of you have easy answers to those questions. You know good,
kind-heart-ed, competent, willing family members who would be
fighting over the opportunity to step up in such a tragic
circumstance.
Some don't have such easy answers.
Maybe you don't have much family.
Maybe the family is willing but ill equipped. Maybe the ones closest
to you have struggles of their own. Maybe they would want to, but
couldn't.
No matter what the answer...easy or
hard, it is something that really eats away at us as parents. Just
the thought of leaving our children like that in this world is enough
to shed tears, but to find a suitable substitute in some cases may be
near impossible.
Will they love the child as you do?
Will they have patience? Will they teach them all the tools they
need to live a successful life? Will they be kind?
What if your child has a disability?
What if every ounce of effort it takes
to raise that child on a daily basis is that times 10 of a typical
child? What if your patience level needs to be a thousand times?
Who is going to have that quality needed for your child?
When you see how the world looks and
interacts or ignores your child, so you have to be the advocate every
waking moment...who is going to fill your shoes?
This goes beyond being just a “parent”,
although I believe parenting is the most important job a person in
this world could have. This is a super-parent: an
up-all-night-calm-all-day kind of super being!
Will the person have what it takes to
continue to love this child when no one else does?
All we have to do is look at the news
to see how autistic individuals are treated.
This is the fate of many individuals
who HAVE doting caregivers and loving homes.
Where will my child be if no one steps
up to the challenge?
Institutionalized?
Then there is the money. Who has the
disposable income for life-long care?
And if you are biomed or homeopathic?
Forget about it! Who is going to pay out of pocket when you can get
prescriptions practically for free?
Will the person caring for my child
care about their special diet? Will they understand how important a
gluten free casein free diet is? Will they jump through hoops to
have similar alternatives at all extracurricular functions? Will
they cave to the peer pressure because they don't really understand
why they can't eat those foods? Will they buckle after seeing the
grocery bill for one week and switch to Ramen and Fruit Loops?
And what can we do about it? We will
be helpless from wherever it is you believe we go after life on earth
is done.
Will that person understand their
needs?
Maybe if my child had super-human
quality or trait to impress them. An impressive singer or dancer or
pianist. Or an impeccable memory. Impressive artistic abilities.
The world loves those kids.
But what about the biters, pinchers,
scratchers and screamers? What if they can't tell you what they
want...what is hurting...what they need?
Will they clean up the poop smears on
the walls day after day and still cuddle them at night when they want
to be loved?
Will they change their diapers when
they are adults?
Will they cry out helplessly with every
seizure and pray for it to end?
Children and adults with disabilities
need a kind of self less love that is unfortunately diminishing in
the world as we know it.
It is heart-breaking and horrific to
think of any child losing a parent and not finding a loving home to
thrive in.
It is down right all consuming and
terrifying to leave an autistic child in this world without the ones
who understand them and depend on them the most.
When we are doing all this worrying, we
are visualizing the 'what-if's'.
Well, 'what-if' you were an autism mom,
diagnosed with cancer.
Please, if you can, give anything at
all to help this mother diagnosed with cancer have more time with her
son.
If you would like to donate to our fundraising
campaign to support Mel and her family please DONATE
HERE: http://t.co/LeZ12VJ2Q4
And to read more about her and her story, check out http://thinkingmomsrevolution.com/help-autism-mom-fight-breast-cancer/
And to read more about her and her story, check out http://thinkingmomsrevolution.com/help-autism-mom-fight-breast-cancer/
